Welcome!

"Anger that’s used to control,

manipulate, and hold another

emotionally hostage is out of

control and abusive."

- Meg Wilson -

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog. My name is Kala Morrison; I’m 26 years old and married to a wonderful man named Brad. I graduated from college in 2007 with two degrees, one in Child Development and Family Relations and the other in Psychology. I went to work for a few years after I graduated, but still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. My husband encouraged me to further my education and enroll in a few courses to help me figure out what I want to do. As a result, I have created this blog about Intimate Partner Violence for a sociology course that I am taking at the University of Idaho. As a part of this course, we read a book called, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, by Lundy Bancroft. I found this book to be a real eye opener. Lundy’s book allows his readers to see inside the mind of the abusive man. Lundy’s years of experience working with abusive men shines through in his book. He dives into the abusive mentality in order to find out what makes abusers tick. He brings to light the reality in domestic abuse situations making it possible to see the abuser in the light of day, instead of lurking in the shadows. Lundy breaks down the methodology of the abusive man’s nature and provides an invaluable resource for victims looking for understanding and advice to free themselves from an abusive relationship. Each page in my blog is dedicated to a chapter in Lundy’s book in order to provide more in depth information in regards to domestic violence. I chose the chapters that I did because they dispel any misconceptions that one might have about the abuser and the methods to his madness.

A Brief Overview of Abuse:

There are many forms of abuse perpetrated by abusive men. Intimate Partner Violence can be broken down into categories: physical, verbal, emotional/psychological, sexual, stalking and economical. The outcomes of IPV are vast and devastating and range from financial losses to psychological effects and even death. Defining what constitutes IPV is very difficult because there is no consensus about what the meaning is of terms like abuse, assault and rape. Also, within the realm of intimate partner violence, the behaviors that constitute abuse can range from mild to severe. Therefore, trying to decipher the estimates of intimate partner violence is extremely difficult. The abusive man himself is equally complicated. He can take on many personas from demanding and abusive to sensitive and understanding. Women get so lost in is this confusion that it can be difficult to find their way out. Abusers deliberately say and act in a way that is intended to confuse those around them. The purpose being to prevent his partner from seeing through his confusion and seeing him for the calculating and controlling person that he is. He doesn’t want anyone to think that he is in control of his abusive nature so that he can deflect blame onto other people. Above all, the purpose for the abuse inflicted on the victim is control.

What is the scope of the problem in the United States? 

For every year that goes by, 2 to 4 million women are assaulted by their partners in the United States. These attacks are the primary cause of injury for women who are fifteen to forty-four. In addition, reports presented by the American Medical Association estimate that one out of three women will be victimized by a male partner in her lifetime. Even more concerning is the fact that, 1,500 to 2,000 women will be subjected to violence, threats, or stalking that will ultimately result in their murder (Bancroft 2002, p. 7).